Jun 20, 2020

Turning 32!

I celebrated my birthday last Sunday. Just like that, my age is off the calendar! In the midst of a global pandemic, we all still try to live normal lives so I got a Zoom session planned on the eve of my birthday with my bestest friends in the world. We had our charcuterie board ready and we ate and drank the night away. At the stroke of midnight, there were non-stop laughters, endless clinking of wine glasses and random stories and side comments about our lives. Heck, there was even someone falling off a chair which was easily one of the highlights of birthday this year. Our call lasted close to 5 hours and when it was time to hang up, I just told myself that my 32nd year on earth was off to a good start.

Thank you, loves, for your time last week! :)

We slept a few hours and I woke up at noon to a pretty bunch of flowers and a special brunch courtesy of my husband. We spent the entire day at home (as expected, thanks to COVID19) but at the same time enjoyed my immunity — a license to be lazy just twice a year: (1) on our birthdays (2) on Mother’s/Father’s Day. On these two days, we give each other a break from doing house chores, get served breakfast in bed, eat all day and not have to wash dishes, you know the drill.

I'm not very hard to please. Longsilog does the trick everytime!

Just 3 hours after brunch, we were off to early dinner. And because I am also excused from my kitchen duties, J cooked his special roast pork belly (recipe courtesy of Marion's Kitchen, google it, it's legit crispy!) then we ordered Filipino comfort food from Max’s. He got me my favorite red velvet cake, too. My workmates sent 2 more cakes that were both too pretty to eat and another friend sent us 2 grande cups of Java Chip and honestly, to say that our bellies are exploding by day-end is still an understatement.

Since there were also too much food and too small a fridge to keep them all, I decided to send a few friends some Baked Pasta and Pastries via Grab. Sharing is caring, right? And as they received the food at their doorstep, I also received many happy emojis and quite effortlessly, I was able to spread joy with such a small gesture. It was heartwarming that I thought maybe I’d do it again next year :)

I got a few presents as well. Our 2 housemates gifted me with a Coach wristlet and J gifted me with an Ikea shopping spree 2 weeks ahead. My sisters got me a pink travel case for my Mac, too (which in fact made me tear up a bit coz dang, they can already afford to buy me a present! LOL.) Needless to say, I felt really special and I wanna thank my family and friends for all the love sent my way despite the corona virus hullaballoo.

Merci beaucoup!

But then again, there have been moments (yep, with an s) when I silently cried because even though we had scrumptious food at the table, surprise deliveries and unexpected presents, we were missing someone on my birthday: Maddie. We were on Facetime, singing an almost-synchronised Happy Birthday and blowing candles atop the cake but it was nothing compared to real the real thing. Nothing compared to warm hugs, kisses and live birthday song on repeat had our unica hija been here. It was so difficult to fill the void, the silence, brought about by a loved one’s absence, especially on days when you want them most to be around. I had to make-do with screenshots as she whispered her greetings and then went off swiftly to eat the Roasted Chicken and Spaghetti she requested a day before.

Maddie's growing up so fast and it kills me that she's away :(

Came evening, while hearing mass on the Feast of Corpus Christi and the Blessed Sacrament was being exposed, I wasn’t able to control my sobs again as I prayed to Jesus for healing so that we can all reunite with our nearest and dearest and move on with our lives. 

Quickly, it was time for bed. I scrolled through all the greetings in Facebook and Instagram and liked/loved each one of them. J gave me a tight hug, kissed me goodnight and even told me again how beautiful I was that day. I don’t know if it’s true, maybe it was just his way of helping me end the day on a good note. Despite the missing piece, I still thank the Lord for the gift of life. As cliché as it may sound, I am still lucky to be able to celebrate my birthday in good health and surrounded by loved ones, albeit mostly virtually.

So as I closed my eyes, I quietly talked to a photo of my Dad to visit me in my dreams and finally, I prayed again to God to bless me with many more years not just for myself but for J, my family, and most importantly, for Maddie who I want to embrace again when this is all over.

Last year, we blew the candles together.
Oh how I love that look on her face!

Emo Mommy forevs,

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