May 29, 2020

My Last Normal

Hello there!

I saw the news just now: Metro Manila will be on General Community Quarantine starting June 1st. It's worrisome that we are transitioning to "the new normal" way before we are ready. Despite the many warnings from the government, people will go to out just for the heck of it. There will be a surge of people on the streets and you cannot tell apart the healthy and the unwell. Public transport will be more crowded than it was before the pandemic and social distancing will be close to impossible. People will go to malls, the movies, eat out, meet friends. They will visit relatives, grandparents included, and they will not even realize the risk they bring to their folks. People will go out because dang, they've been confined in their homes doing nothing but TikTok for the past 3 months.

This scenario scares me. Not only do I fear for my family, I fear for our healthcare system if cases blow up after re-opening. I fear for healthcare workers who will need to work more than their bodies are capable of. I fear for the military, the supermarket staff, the cleaners, those who keep our lives steady and going. I fear for the young, the old and those with existing medical conditions whose immune system may not be able to handle the virus, or any sickness at that. I fear that if the cases in the Philippines get worse, I may not be able to pick my daughter up anytime soon and eventually, I will not be able to get her back here with us.

My anxiety is rising as fast as the numbers do. I stay up at night always asking my husband the same question: "When will Maddie be with us again?" My husband usually has answers for everything, but for this one he would stay quiet, let out a sigh, and say, "I wish I knew."

For the moment, I will console myself with this photo of our last normal. This was on February 23, a day before we flew back to Singapore. I brought Maddie to the hair salon to cut her hair short right after her successful flower girl stint. We had a nice dinner at Yabu with the whole family. We went home, had a huge slice of my favourite Mango Bravo and ate our hearts out not knowing this will be the last that we will all share a meal and some good laughs in many months, maybe a year even.

I will close my eyes tonight with this image in my mind and a prayer that one day this last normal will happen again. We may not know when, but we trust in one great God that it will happen.

Miss you fam :'(

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